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Coach Kyle - Intentional Stress Challenge: Train Jiu Jitsu

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If you don't know, Kyle is one of our top instructors here at SMBJJ. He is the mastermind and head coach of our introduction to BJJ program, leader of the St Marys Fitness Group and runs our fitness program (which is open to the public 8am on Sundays). Check out all of Kyles writings at his Substack here and enjoy his most recent article below!

 

The art of jiu-jitsu is worth more in every way than all of our athletics combined. -Teddy Roosevelt

Bottom line up front: I’m biased. I’ve been training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) for over seven years and love it as much as any other individual pursuit in my life. I started training in mixed martial arts (MMA) eight years ago for the purpose of testing myself and learning how to better protect my family or others if needed. I quickly learned that anyone with mild competency in grappling could dominate me in a fight once distance was closed or it went to the ground regardless of my superior athleticism, boxing, and/or wrestling. I could hold my own or at least have a chance of success on the feet. I had ZERO chance of preventing someone from eventually strangling me if they had training in BJJ. This reality, and the birth of my daughter that led me to become more selective in when/how I trained, caused me to begin primarily training in jiu-jitsu. My team in Guam really emphasized sparring or realistic training while simultaneously demanding ego control so safety and risk of injury could be reduced. After just months of training and beginning to learn basic techniques, I couldn’t believe the success I was having against guys significantly bigger than me. My life and confidence in my abilities began to change.

Though violence is not lawful, when it is offered in self-defense or for the defense of the defenseless, it is an act of bravery far better than cowardly submission. The latter befits neither man nor woman. Under violence, there are many stages and varieties of bravery. Every man must judge this for himself. No other person can or has the right. -Mahatma Gandhi 


If a hand-to-hand fight cannot be avoided, BJJ is THE best martial art to teach self-defense to any age, size, gender, and ability. Situational awareness, de-escalation, ego management, and escape are all better options than fighting. If you have to defend yourself without a weapon, however, jiu-jitsu and its concepts can be taught to anyone to at worst be a harder target and at best effectively control strangle an assailant unconscious regardless of size or strength.

Your physical safety is up to you, as it really always has been. -Jeff Cooper

 

Most self-defense situations arise from insecure individuals with ego management issues or criminals who want material items like money or belonging. These are forms of social violence where the assailant wants to gain something without causing significant injury or death to the victim. Predators are almost always looking for prey. Perceptually easy wins are sought by cowards wanting to take advantage of others. People who appear weak mentally, physically, or spiritually are more vulnerable. Situational awareness, posture, social support and confidence can all contribute to decreasing risk of an attack through creating the image of being a hard target. However, when an attack is threatened, perceived superiority, external validation, or materials aren’t worth fighting for. Success or failure in a street fight can lead to jail time, injury or death. A trained and confident individual knows this and has no problem allowing someone to have a false sense of confidence in order to avoid an unneeded confrontation. It’s when a fight becomes unavoidable where effective self-defense must be used. Self-offense is one’s ability to enact harm on another. Self-defense is ultimately self-preservation or one’s ability to stay alive and be difficult for a predator to have success with regardless of size or strength differential. Both self-offense and defense are useful tools but only one can be effectively taught to vulnerable populations.

 

Self-defense is so important to know in today's society. It's not just that you might get mugged. It's more for confidence. It's the way you hold yourself when you walk into a room. Every step you take is more sure and you're much more aware of your surroundings. So, I think it's a really important thing - especially for women. -Milla Jovovich

 

All forms of martial arts can add value to one’s ability to defend themselves. Some training in any discipline is better than no training at all. Boxing provides footwork, distance management, hand striking defense, proper punching biomechanics, and precision. Kickboxing is appropriately named as it is boxing with kicks. Distance management, however, changes dramatically once kicks are involved. Muay Thai takes it a step further to have all the benefits of boxing and kickboxing with the addition of other offensive tools on the body to include the elbows and knees along with the ability to strike in the clinch. Judo teaches trips, throws and many ways to manage a person on the feet and can be an incredible advantage when having to defend yourself against someone wearing a jacket. Certain efficient submissions are also taught in judo making it the most similar martial art to BJJ. Wrestling is one of the oldest and most important martial arts in that it teaches grit, toughness and the ability to dictate if a fight stays on the feet or goes to the ground. Being able to chose where a fight takes place is a huge advantage as you can put the fight where you have the best chance for success. When considering mixed martial arts, there’s a reason wrestlers have historically done very well once they become relatively competent in other disciplines. Krav Maga emphasizes quick, practical forms of striking, clinching, and grappling with the intent to escape, counter, and/or neutralize an opponent with target-focused techniques. Even Karate, Taekwondo, or Jeet Kune Do can teach speed, precision, and distance management in striking offense and defense for real world application. There are also several Chinese martial arts that teach advanced striking methods such as the death punch or ability to incapacitate an enemy with the touch of a finger that have been shown to be quite effective in film…

Jiu-jitsu and martial arts do not build character, they reveal it. We are all born with unmeasurable courage and determination, but it is as we go through the trials of rigorous training that we rediscover those gifts. -Ricardo Almeida

Mixed martial arts is a cheat answer to the question of what is the best martial art for self-defense because it’s not a single martial art. MMA is a combination of any/all martial arts based on a person’s interests, skillset, attributes, and coaches. If one has the time and desire to become a complete fighter, MMA, where BJJ is a primary component, is the way to go. 

 

Self-defense is not only our right: it is our duty. -Ronald Reagan 

Weapons, particularly firearms, training is the great equalizer that will override any martial art(s) and should be strongly considered to optimize your ability to defend yourself and others against any anyone.

Jiu-jitsu is the science and art of control that leads to submission. -John Danaher

 

BJJ is a grappling-based martial art that contains the basic tenants of wrestling and judo while emphasizing control of opponents leading to escape or submission via strangulation,  joint manipulation, or agony. Jiu-jitsu’s foundation is based in concepts for smaller individuals to be able to effectively escape, control, counter, or dominate larger adversaries through the use of leverage, space management, momentum and technique. In the majority of BJJ gyms, sparring or live training against another person is encouraged. This inherently leads to significant physical and mental discomfort while learning. The discomfort never ends but experience teaches effective management and ultimately resilience despite the adversity. The beauty of BJJ is that its culture is also embedded in a sense of safety and community. While injuries are always possible, true of any athletic endeavor, it’s a discipline that can be learned and performed by anyone. In my opinion, BJJ is one of the best forms of intentional stress aimed at self-improvement because of the inevitable mental, physical, social, and spiritual challenges it will present.

If size mattered, the elephant would be the king of the jungle. -Rickson Gracie

 

The Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) was originally created in 1993 to answer the question, “What is the most effective martial art?” Professionals from all disciplines entered into a 16-man tournament to determine which form was superior. No rules aside from no biting or eye gouging. Kickboxing vs Kenpo. BJJ vs boxing. Sumo vs Savate. Shootfighting vs Taekwon Do. Royce Gracie, son of the great Helio Gracie who created BJJ with his brother Carlos, entered the tournament as the sole BJJ practitioner which was relatively unknown at the time. Royce, who was significantly smaller than every other man in the tournament, went on to win in impressive fashion. He then went on to win the second and fourth tournaments which contained more disciplines and extra time for opponent’s to prepare for this “new” style of fighting. It was later revealed that Royce was far from the best competitor in the family but was intentionally selected because of his smaller size so the power of BJJ couldn’t be denied.

The big, strong, tough guy goes to class, and he keeps getting tapped by the skinny, technical guy. It begins to change him. It makes him humble. That’s what jiu-jitsu does to you. It makes you humble. -Relson Gracie

 

30 years have passed since the Gracie family shocked the world and professional mixed martial arts has significantly evolved because of it. It is rare to see a true specialist anymore without substantial training in the primary disciplines of striking, wrestling and jiu-jitsu. Everyone at a high level knows the basics of applying or preventing submissions. The general population, however, does not. Most people walking around on the street don’t have a clue of how to properly defend themselves to include self-preservation, evading, or countering an attacker. The true beauty of jiu-jitsu is that it can be used as self-defense without causing significant injury to another person if it’s not needed. De-escalation can occur physically if it’s not effective verbally in response to social violence. For anti-bullying, jiu-jitsu can teach victims confidence and competence while teaching bullies humility and healthier outlets for insecurity or other forms of internal struggle. The introvert can become more comfortable around others, especially with others being in his/her personal space. The extrovert can experience isolation or failure around others when forced to consider nothing other than the task of survival. The person wanting to get in shape can have an outlet to exert while learning a valuable skill. The athlete can learn fitness doesn’t translate to assures success in a fight. Jiu-jitsu has beneficial application for any/all types of people.

Always assume that your opponent is going to be bigger, stronger and faster than you; so that you learn to rely on technique, timing and leverage rather than brute strength. -Helio Gracie

 

Sparring, or controlled competition, is imperative to stress test skills, determine effectiveness, and build legitimate confidence for potential use outside of the gym. Maintaining safety while keeping sparring realistic in striking-based martial arts is very challenging when considering different genders, sizes, ages and abilities. They are all also more self-offense related in that the strikes and defense of them are the foundational skills that often won’t effectively translate to a self-defense situation against larger guys with bad intentions. If you can’t get that perfect strike off against someone before the distance is closed, he has his hands on you, or the fight goes to the ground, you’re going to be in trouble if striking is your skillset. Both disciplines of wrestling and judo are honestly fantastic forms of self-defense, however, they are extremely hard on the body over time, especially when considering size differences and the impact throws/repeated takedowns can have. These disciplines can/should be included in a good jiu-jitsu program, however, they’re a component of it and not the primary focus. Live grappling can be accomplished safely and daily assuming the right culture of realistic but emotionally managed interactions is maintained. While beginners often want to use strength, power, and energy, a trained grappler can use all of these attributes against an opponent and capitalize on momentum, timing, and fatigue respectively while conserving energy. Skilled grapplers can keep opponents safe and still improve during sparring by intentional practice on a particular skillset such as a certain position, technique, or concept. This allows for sparring to be beneficial for both sides even when opponents are mismatched.

 

Sometimes you don’t have to win. You cannot win. But that has nothing to do with losing. -Rickson Gracie

In order to get good at jiu-jitsu, you have to develop the growth mindset made popular by Carol Dweck. Dedication, hard work, honest self-evaluation, reflection, and most importantly a healthy relationship with failure are the key tenants to a growth mindset and are critical for improvement on the mats. Failure is inevitable in jiu-jitsu. You have to fail many times in order to get good at anything difficult. The ones who seek failure in order to learn are the ones who develop the quickest. Pick challenging training partners, ask questions, and put yourself in difficult positions to work on a technique. Intentional stress within intentional stress! In failure, you can always find small wins and learning opportunities. Opportunities for improvement even in success are possible if the habit of a growth mindset is ingrained. 

There is no losing in jiu-jitsu, you either win or you learn. -Carlos Gracie Sr

 

I’ve said in many of my posts that I believe emotional regulation is one of, if not the, most important skills someone can possess. There aren’t many things more emotionally jarring than another person trying to smash, strangle or put one of your limbs in a vulnerable position. Learning how to manage emotions while physically sparring or competing against an opponent is resilience training at its finest.

(SEE MEME on his Substack)

 

 

This funny meme online always cracks me up. There are absolutely cases where adrenaline and luck have helped save someone’s life against an attacker and there are countless examples of one douche bag “seeing red” that overwhelms another untrained person. That being said, emotions in fighting are limiting and often detrimental. The fight, flight, or freeze response typically leads to poor decisions or an adrenaline dump within minutes leading to extreme fatigue. Fatigue makes cowards of us all.  If a trained fighter can make his opponent emotional, he’s often already won.

My opponent is my teacher, my ego is my enemy. -Renzo Gracie

Emotional regulation prevents emotional reasoning allowing for rational decisions. Execution of reasoned choice in extreme situations is a superpower. The only way one can manage emotions in a physical encounter is through consistent training.

We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training. -Archilochus

 

Initial Challenge: Research BJJ gyms in your area.

People train for different reasons such as to get in shape, join a community of like-minded individuals, self-improvement, self-defense, sport jiu-jitsu, or mma. There are different types of gyms, coaches and cultures that will typically specialize in or at least be curtailed to a few areas. Based on your unique goals, it is worthwhile to research what is available in your area to ensure you find a good fit.

 

There are generally two types of gyms:

  • Formal gyms that emphasize drills, structure, tests, and other types of evaluations. Students who prefer known expectations, rigid schedules, and formalized systems for progress evaluation and promotions are best suited for more formal gyms. 

  • Informal gyms that analyze progress for each student based on individual capabilities, goals, and reasons for training. Informal doesn’t indicate lack of respect or serious but more so instructor, rather than doctrine, led based on analysis of students. Rather than requiring a certain number of classes be completed or a standardized test be passed before a promotion is considered, instructors determine unique needs and levels of each student over time.

Within these two types, there will then be gyms that emphasize sport, mma, and/or self-defense applications of jiu-jitsu which all will result in different styles and class structure. The most important consideration in any gym is the culture which is ultimately influenced by the credibility and character of the instructors. The significance of good coaches in any martial art cannot be overstated. Literally any form of martial art can be effectively or terribly taught by the right or wrong coach respectively. Follow “mcdojolife” on Instagram if you want to see some of the most absurd examples of the types of people that can be in the martial arts space around the world. There is nothing more dangerous than entering a subjectively competitive gym run by an insecure asshole with ego management issues. If you see beginners getting badly beat up or ridiculed, run for the doors. That is not a learning environment for a beginner. This is rare but I’ve seen it. Bad people can exist in all arenas.

I always suggest interested students go and observe a class or two at a local gym. If you’re told this isn’t allowed, that may be sending a signal about the type of gym you’ve looked into before even walking in the door. Assuming you are allowed, you can then watch to see what the classes and culture are like and how they align with your goals.

 

Advanced Challenge: Take a few classes at a local BJJ gym.

Most gyms offer a free week trial. Therefore, this can be no cost opportunity to determine if the gym’s culture and coaches are a good fit for you and your goals. 

The hardest belt to earn in BJJ is the white belt. Most people never even walk through the door and give it a real chance. Starting something new and challenging is harder than continuing with what you already are good at. A week is a drop in the bucket but still enough time to determine whether or not you’re up for committing yourself and your time to a particular gym.

Elite Challenge: Earn your blue belt in BJJ.

 

Nothing good happens overnight. True competence in any skill takes lots and lots of practice. A few self-defense classes are great to learn about what a given martial art is, what instructors seem to be like in a given gym, and if that gym’s culture is a good fit for you. If training for true self-improvement in any way is your goal, attempting to earn your blue belt in BJJ is an excellent start.

Jiu-jitsu puts you completely in the moment, where you must have a complete focus on finding a solution to the problem. This trains the mind to build that focus, to increase your awareness, your capacity to solve problems. -Rickson Gracie 

If you can earn your blue belt, a representation of proven proficiency in the foundational concepts of BJJ, then you can eventually earn your black belt. It’s now just a matter of time and dedication. I’ve seen people earn this recognition in a year (usually those with prior training in a discipline like wrestling or judo) to five years. One of my first professors, an absolute badass, said it took him just under fives years to get his blue belt back in the day. The belt color and when you get promoted truly doesn’t matter. The journey and development that happens throughout it is the goal. Trust and love the process. Earning a blue belt demonstrates that your instructors believe you have met their unique expectations of moving beyond the beginner level. It is an external acknowledgment of progress. Validation from others, especially mentors, is great, but internal gratification and commitment to self-improvement leads to true success. Ironically it is often the individuals who seek external gratification that are internally struggling/insecure while the people focused on self-improvement for the sake of getting better receive genuine validation from others. Slow progress leading to lasting change is the best way to ensure competence. 

1% better every day. 

 

Jiu-jitsu is an excellent form of intentional stress forcing one to test the mind, body, and spirit. You can’t be successful on the mats or in a real fight without intellect, technique, endurance, and resilience. BJJ undoubtedly gives people tools to increase their chances of success in a self-defense situation. Improving competency during realistic training also builds confidence. Confidence provides courage and ego management to be more self-aware, de-escalate, walk away from, or be more effective in a fight when need be. Consistent training and improvement causes motivation for continued growth in all ways. Training naturally impacts fitness and physical health. 

The most significant skill that comes from a martial art like jiu-jitsu, however, is improved mindset. BJJ is hard. If you intentionally do hard things and work through them consistently, the inevitable challenges life throws at you don’t feel as difficult. Use the best form of self-defense to improve your resilience and life in all ways.

 

Elite Challenge: Once you earn your blue belt, keep going!

It is reported that 99% of people don’t train consistently. Estimates then say 99% of the people who start training don’t earn a black belt.

Far too many people stop training after earning a blue belt. It’s true that these individuals have reached a level of proficiency that’s going to place them in high likelihood of success in hand-to-hand combat against anyone their size or smaller. The subsequent years, however, are the ones that will give the superpower that is jiu-jitsu against any/all types of people and corresponding confidence to do so. I get tremendous pride from watching our 130 lb female purple belt absolutely dominate most men who start live training after completing our 12-week beginner’s program. The action itself is entertaining but it’s the utter exhaustion and look on their face demonstrating the realization that they aren’t as tough as they think following the sparring session that truly brings me joy. She teaches humility and is able to do this because she trains consistently. All skills are perishable. The skill of jiu-jitsu can be eventually forgotten over time for those blue belts who quit. Consistent training will continue to enhance competence and the related skills of resilience, emotional intelligence, ego management, problem solving under pressure, energy conservation, physical fitness, empathy, transcendence, and fulfillment throughout life. A black belt is a white belt who never quit.

 

Here is the link to my current gym, St. Mary’s Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, to check out the various types of classes that can be offered. You will never know unless you try!

If it’s not jiu-jitsu, don’t stop looking for something that can offer a path to being the best you can be.

With discipline, belief, and the right knowledge, we become the best we can be. -Georges St Pierre

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